Yesterday was Camp Rudder's annual Wives Swamp Walk. Like most battalions in the Army, 6th RTB holds an annual "Jane Wayne" or "GI Jane" day, however you like to refer to it. Generally, this is a day for the wives and families of soldiers fire a few weapons and maybe do an obstacle course or some other "Army" type event that their husbands would normally do. The 6th RTB Wives Swamp Walk puts all other Wives days to shame. After all, this is the hardest stage of Ranger School, the school that turns out the most elite soldiers in the Army so of course our wives are a little tougher - or perhaps just a little crazier.......
We began our day with inprocessing and medical screening in the battalion classroom. This was followed by the Native Reptile briefing so we would know what to watch out for in the Swamp. Do you think I'm kidding? All the snakes used in the briefing were caught locally at Camp Rudder. We then got to see the Reptile Team feed two of our 4 resident alligators, Stumpy and Vincent. Stumpy is a 3 legged female, brought to us several years ago as a rescue animal. Vincent was acquired last year from St. Augustine's alligator reserve as part of a trade. He is rather large at over 12 feet long. Stumpy has just laid eggs and is a little feisty so the feeding was quite a show. We are all excited about the eggs and are hoping for some little Ranger Gators soon.
After the Gator feeding, we loaded onto transport vehicles by company and headed down to Yellow River. Let me just say that "transport vehicle" is a rather generous term that implies safe transport from one destination to the next. I feel truly sorry for the soldiers that are forced to ride in these "vehicles" that consist of nothing more than skinny wooden benches covered by a tarp canopy. My behind has some heinously painful bruises from bumping around on those benches. The obvious lack of shock absorbers didn't help the situation, nor did the driver who appeared rather unconcerned with his erratic swerving and sudden stops that threw several of our passengers to the floor and required a team effort to achieve recovery. Despite our precarious journey, we arrived at the first station in good spirits, ready to conquer our competition. Our firts task was firing weapons. We listned (well, kind of) to the instructions of the RI's (Ranger Instructors) and donned our protective eye wear and ear protection before cheering each other on as we fired the M-4, SAW, and M-240. I must admit, I like firing big guns. I'm not sure what that says about me but I'm not going to dwell on it for too long. :)
After firing some serious guns, we refilled our Camelbaks at the water buffalo, dug through the stacks of MRE's for the least revolting options, picked up our walking sticks and headed down the trail to Yellow River. Did I mention that Bravo Company wives led the way??? We arrived first (of course), staked out our bleacher spots for the water borne operations briefing, and tore into our MRE's. OK, so I had to have Yohanna open the package and show me how to work the heater thingie and still managed to nearly burn the heck out of my hand with it ....but, I got it working and ate a few bites of "Vegetarian Cheese Tortellini in Marinara Sauce" which was surprisingly decent for something that has a shelf life of a million years. Yohanna, our experienced prior Army expert, introduced us all to the delicacy of crackers with Jalepeno Cheese Spread which is also, suprisingly good.
After our culinary adventures, we expertly secured our safety lines and caribiners in preparation for the Rope Bridge crossing. OK, by"expertly secured" I mean Mary's husband Eric (SFC. Salmond to the rest of you) tied them on for us. Hey, we know how to use our resources! ;) The "rope bridge" is not a bridge over the water but a rope strung from bank to bank (tied on trees) that you hook your caribiner to and swim hand over hand across the river. The reason for this is that the current and the weight of your boots and gear would drag you under if you simply tried to swim. Rangers that use the rope bridge are actually carrying several hundred pounds of equipment and weapons in rucksacks so it is a necessary tool for navigating water. I was just carrying the extra pounds that a couple kids add to your hips over the years, but that's challenging enough for me. Needless to say, the Bravo wives were the swiftest swimmers and crossed the river twice with no problem. What can I say, we rocked.
Following the rope bridge crossing, we were given life jackets and a Zodiak boat that we carried to the water. Once every boat was loaded, we took off down the river, rowing with determination. We were just a tad competitive and spent much of our time attempting to run one of the other boats off course and using our oars to soak them with river water. They did the same to us which wasn't so bad, considering the heat. Once we docked, we lined up, took head count, and headed into the swamp. There is not a lot that I can say to describe the swamp. Imagine stepping, fully clothed, into a giant puddle of stinking, bubbly mud, up to your waist. As you walk, you step into and trip over gigantic root systems that you cannot see. Sometimes, the ground simply drops off and you sink into the mud up to your armpits or worse, fall into it. One wife in our group aptly described the mud as a big puddle of baby poo. For many of the wives, this is the worst part of the walk. There was a lot of screaming and falling but B co. managed to make it out unscathed and in good humor. We loaded our stinky, nasty, mud covered selves back into the glorious contraptions that the Army refers to as transportation and bounced our way back to Camp, wondering several times if we would actually make it in one piece. Upon arriving at Camp, we schlepped our way down the street towards home until Desiree's husband (SFC. Olsen) took pity on us and let us cram in the back of the subaru. I have never appreciated hot, running water, Bath and Body Works products, and fluffy towels quite so much.
If anyone wants a REAL Florida Swamp experience, come visit next August! If you just want to live vicariously through our experience, log onto www.nwfdailynews.com and look under photo galleries for the Wives Swamp Walk to see a real Florida Swamp and some real Army Wives!
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